Empowering Your Partner During Labor: Ways They Can Be Involved
Birth isn’t just a journey for you—it’s also an experience for your partner. Whether it’s their first time or they’ve been through it before, many partners want to be involved but aren’t always sure how to help or what to expect. The truth is, a supportive and engaged partner can make a huge difference in how you experience labor. When they feel empowered and connected, it strengthens your bond and gives them the confidence to actively support you during one of the most intense moments of your life.
So, how can your partner be more than just a bystander? Let’s dive into some simple, effective ways they can be an essential part of your birth team, offering comfort, encouragement, and love every step of the way.
1. Be the Encourager
One of the most powerful things your partner can do is offer constant, loving encouragement. Labor can be exhausting and overwhelming, and sometimes you just need to hear, “You’re doing amazing,” or “I’m so proud of you.” Simple, reassuring words can help lift you up and remind you that you’re not alone. Partners don’t need to be birth experts—they just need to be present, positive, and vocal in their support.
2. Advocate for Your Preferences
Your partner is your greatest ally in the delivery room. While you’re focused on birthing your baby, they can step up to make sure your birth preferences are respected. Whether it’s reminding the staff of your wishes or helping you navigate decisions when things change, a well-prepared partner can be your voice when you need it most.
This is why it’s so important for them to know your preferences ahead of time! Sit down together and talk through your birth preferences so they feel confident about what you want and how to communicate that to your care team.
3. Learn Basic Comfort Techniques
Your partner can be an incredible source of physical support during labor. Simple things like applying pressure to your lower back, helping you change positions, or giving you a shoulder or foot massage can make all the difference when contractions intensify.
Encourage your partner to learn a few basic comfort measures before labor starts. They don’t need to be a pro—just knowing how to offer a few hands-on techniques can help both of you feel more prepared. And don’t forget, sometimes just holding your hand or offering a hug can provide all the comfort you need.
4. Help You Focus on Breathing and Relaxation
Breathing techniques are a great way to manage the intensity of labor, but in the moment, it can be easy to lose focus. Your partner can be your reminder to stay grounded and centered through each contraction. Whether they breathe with you, count your breaths, or just gently remind you to exhale slowly, their presence can help you stay calm and connected to your body.
Partners, you don’t have to have perfect technique—just be there, steady and supportive, to help your birthing partner stay in control of their breathing and relaxation.
5. Be the Gatekeeper
Labor can be an emotional rollercoaster, and not everyone you love will necessarily know how to navigate that space. Your partner can play a key role in managing visitors, calls, or distractions during labor. Whether it’s keeping the room calm and quiet or tactfully handling well-meaning family members, they can protect the birth space so you can stay focused.
Encourage your partner to check in with you about what you need in the moment. Whether it’s asking visitors to wait or dimming the lights to create a more peaceful environment, they can ensure your space stays just how you want it.
6. Be Present, Not Perfect
Let’s be real—labor can be intense, messy, and unpredictable. The best thing your partner can do is simply be there in the moment with you. They don’t have to have all the answers or be a pro at everything. Sometimes, their presence alone—offering a smile, a hand to squeeze, or a whispered “I’m here”—is exactly what you need.
Encourage them to stay flexible, take cues from you, and focus on being calm and loving, rather than trying to fix or control anything. The emotional connection they provide is often the most important support of all.
7. Support Self-Care and Breaks
Labor can be long, and your partner will need to take care of themselves to stay fully present. Encourage them to bring snacks, stay hydrated, and take quick breaks when needed. A well-rested and fueled partner will be better able to offer support for the long haul. It’s not about abandoning you—just stepping away for a moment to recharge so they can come back refreshed and ready to help.
Remind them that your care team is there to support you, too, so they don’t need to feel guilty about taking a few minutes to regroup.
8. Capture the Moment (If You Want!)
If you’re comfortable with it, your partner can take on the role of photographer or videographer to capture those first beautiful moments of your baby’s arrival. It’s a way for them to be involved while also giving you a lasting memory of the experience.
Just make sure this is something you both want! If you’d rather your partner stay fully focused on you, that’s totally okay too.
9. Stay Calm and Adapt
No matter how much you prepare, birth can take unexpected turns. Your partner’s ability to stay calm and go with the flow can make a huge difference in how you both experience labor. They can help ease any tension or fear by staying flexible, listening to your needs, and offering steady reassurance when plans change.
Encourage your partner to take things one moment at a time, adapting as the situation evolves. Their calm energy will help you feel safe and supported, no matter what direction labor takes.
At the end of the day, partners play a critical role in the birth experience. They are your advocate, your comforter, your biggest cheerleader—and their presence helps create a birth environment that’s loving and supportive. By preparing ahead of time, learning a few techniques, and focusing on being fully present, your partner can feel empowered to help make your birth experience one that’s calm, confident, and filled with connection.
Need more tips on preparing your partner for labor? Let’s connect! Together, we can create a plan to ensure both you and your partner feel ready, supported, and excited for your upcoming birth.